


I don’t think I can be anything other than me

by snoozingkitten



Series: The Future is Bulletproof [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2012-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-19 13:25:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snoozingkitten/pseuds/snoozingkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of the invasion Natasha realizes she has some things to deal with. Pepper is still reeling from being side-lined and Tony, well Tony is as always Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don’t think I can be anything other than me

**Author's Note:**

> Set immediately post-film, AU in the fact that Pepper and Natasha began to date post IM2.

The dust settled and Natasha fell to her knees on top of Stark tower still clutching Loki’s staff with fingers gone white with the pressure of her grip. 

“Is it over?” Selvig asked her squinting against the light, the sun was obscenely bright for such a tragedy; from all the way up hear you couldn’t hear the moans and groans of the wounded could just hear the crash of buildings still crumbling. 

Below them the Hulk roared. Natasha closed her eyes and fought to ignore the aches and pains that were beginning to show across her body; relief so strong it made her bones feel like jello. 

“It’s over.” She spat. 

Over the comms Tony’s voice cracked to life sounding strained but _so alive_. 

\--

Pepper landed in New Jersey and battled traffic with the sort of grim determination you see with people going into war. 

“It’s going to be difficult to get through ma’am.” Happy said frowning at the traffic that had grid-locked the entire state and the police officers milling about the scene. Children wailed in the backs of cars and parents looked harried and desperate. No one was going the other way but the people fleeing New York had spilled over the meridian in a tangled mess of horns blaring and rear-ending. 

“Go anyways, if we have to get out and walk we’re getting there.” 

Even now her stomach was twisted up in vicious knots, a wild cat in her abdomen trying to fight its way out. 

The mobile network was down due to the sudden influx of so Pepper pulled out her tablet and activated her link to Stark3 satellite. The Rolls Royce glided down towards the bridge where cars were still being evacuated and no was getting anywhere. 

Tony wasn’t picking up. Pepper grit her teeth so she wouldn’t cry and wished she knew how to remote hack JARVIS if anyone knew where he was and what kind of condition he was in it would be him. The uplink to JARVIS’ core systems in the suit was down and that could mean _anything_. 

Running out of patience Pepper tried Coulson’s number next it rang for a long time before someone answered. “How did you get this number?” Came an irritated voice. 

“That is unimportant. Who am I speaking with and where is Phil Coulson?” Pepper bit out. She’d been watching the spotty broadcasts. Red hair and black cat suit could have been anyone but she knew better. Pepper bit her nails into her palms and resisted the urge to throw the phone out of sheet frustration. She was much better at channelling aggression into movement than most people gave her credit for. 

“He can’t come to the phone at the moment you’re going to have to deal with me you’re speaking to Director Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D.” 

“Well _Director_.” She stressed his name drawing it out between her teeth like a projectile. “Maybe you can get me access to New York Island?”

“It’s currently a disaster zone and the longer you keep me on the phone Ms. Potts is the longer I’m not fixing it.” 

“Fine.” Pepper sighed. “At least give me status on Tony and Agent Romanoff, she’s down there isn’t she?” 

Fury paused for a long moment and Pepper had the distinct impression that she’s shown her hand too soon. Somehow she had lost this exchange without meaning too. “Stark and Agent Romanoff are alive.” 

“Oh thank god.” Pepper groaned going limp all of a sudden. It seemed like every major news station everywhere in New York had footage of Iron Man falling from the sky from a dozen different shaky cell-phone cameras. Then everything was about how the creatures went limp and nothing more on the status of Iron Man. 

Fury hung up on her but Pepper wasn’t even listening anymore, she leaned forward to drape herself over the passenger seat so she could look at Happy. His mouth was drawn in a frown. “Boss?” 

“He’s okay.” She said with a shaky smile still barely able to believe that Tony was okay. 

“It’s going to take more than that to kill him.” Happy replied with a huge grin and Pepper wished it was that simple. Nothing with Tony was ever that simple. 

She tried Natasha’s number again and it just continued to ring. Pepper snarled at her phone and very deliberately set it down. 

“Drive.” She sighed. 

“Where to?” Happy looked at her in the rear-view offering her a smile and silent reassurance even if it was the smallest drop in an ocean of panic. 

“Nearest hotel. You saw the news they destroyed the tower, it’s going to be a PR nightmare, we can’t have ‘Stark Towers open portals to alien dimensions’ as our tag line. Need to get on top of this.” 

“Right away ma’am.” 

They were crawling down the interstate with all the others fleeing when a huge aircraft dropped out of the sky hovering in front of them. Her phone began to ring, Natasha’s picture flashing across the screen. “Is that you?” Pepper asked eyes trained on the large under-mounted gun. 

“I’m here to give you a lift.” Came the familiar voice. 

“Traffic on the bridge is a mess.” Pepper laughed feeling the edge of hysteria creeping on with the relief and she grabbed it and twisted it pulling it into the energy she needed to pull herself off the seat. 

“Happy pull into the ditch. We’re taking a different route.” Pepper said holding her palm over the phone politely. 

“Ditch the rolls?” Happy looked actually sad about that. 

“We’ll come back for it.” It rolled off the side of the road but traffic didn’t move up the spot everyone was gawking at the hovering craft. It looked almost alien if you couldn’t see where it was clearly a descendant of a helicopter. Tony would be able to tell exactly which one. They weren’t a Stark contract Pepper knew that much. 

The twin rotors whipped up a draft that stole the bits of hair that had slipped out of Pepper’s bun and sent them into a flurry around her face. Her heels threatened to sink to the grass but she held herself together as she stood tall out of the car leaning onto her toes. The hatch opened and Natasha was there holding onto one of the struts and reaching out for Pepper. 

Any other time it might have been romantic but countless people were dead and central New York stood in shambles. As it was Natasha hauled Pepper up and onto the ramp steadying her with a hand on her hip as Pepper got her bearing on her heels again. 

Happy scrambled up on his own and the whole thing jolted a little as the hatch began to close and they raised up into the air. “Good day Mr. Hogan.” Natasha said curtly. 

“You look.” Awful, Pepper bit it back, Natasha was filthy with dirt in her hair and bruises forming on almost every bit of exposed skin she could see. Her lip was split and when she moved towards the cabin it was with a limp. “Alive.” Pepper breathed, grabbing for her arm to pull her back gently. Natasha’s boots were thick but Pepper had lift in her heels so he tipped her head forward and pressed a gentle kiss against the corner of her mouth. He could just feel the curl of Natasha’s smile under his lips when they pulled apart. This wasn’t a romance film and nothing would fade to black with a kiss. 

They normally didn’t do anything in the public eye at all. Natasha was a spy and Pepper had been shoved rather suddenly into the public arena. It should have been oil and water. Still they made it work for some definition of working. Pepper was all about concise legal definitions. Thus they were ‘dating’ even if at any given moment for national security reasons she didn’t know where Natasha was. 

“Clint, to the Triskelion.” Natasha said. She looked tired and rumpled. 

“Are you okay?” Pepper asked. Happy had already wandered to the cock-pit poking at buttons and bugging Clint giving Pepper and Natasha space. He wasn’t paid enough, knowing just what Pepper needed at any given moment. 

“Fine.” Natasha said her tone even and if she was lying Pepper wasn’t going to be able to tell. She would just need to trust that Natasha was telling to the truth or bide her time and look for her tells. 

Pepper had a million questions, some above her clearance and some she could get away with if she asked. Instead she sat down on the hard seats while Natasha hooked her fingers in the netting and watching the clouds rush by the front windows. 

“Was there any reason it had to be Stark tower?” Pepper finally said and Natasha looked at her startled. 

“What are you asking?” 

“Stark tower-- we weren’t even done pushing the publicity for it. I just want to know what kind of spin I need to give the whole thing. We can’t be held for helping a aliens invade New York can we?” 

Natasha relaxed fractionally when she saw Pepper’s PDA come out. 

“It’s going to be hard to call a press conference immediately, covering the actual disaster hasn’t even finished yet but I want to get the statement ready. The public are going to turn, they are going to want someone to blame I need to make sure that isn’t Stark.” Pepper continued poking at buttons with the ease of muscle memory and mostly watching Natasha. 

“Hold it in the conference room of Stark tower.” Natasha said at last. She folded herself into the chair next to Pepper cautiously or maybe she was just moving slowly because everything hurt. 

“Impact.” Pepper nodded slowly making notes in her calendar. “I like it. Tony will need to do the address, tie into Iron Man. Give the whole thing a sense of responsibility.” 

Natasha didn’t say anything, staring hard at a mid-distance like she couldn’t even keep up the charade of being okay anymore. Pepper didn’t know what she could do for her, felt as helpless as she did when she’d been on the plane flying back to New York watching the news feeds of all things. So she continued to tap at her phone. Stark Industries plants in the New York area were to be given the day off to ease congestion and give everyone peace of mind. A fund would need to be set up for donations; maybe she could get a popstar or two in on it. Stark industries could relinquish a satellite to help with telecommunications issues. They could probably run a missing persons database from their own servers have people going to shelters check in to better streamline the rescue efforts. It was going to cost millions but they needed to protect the brand name and Pepper was _good_ at that. 

The Triskelion was a large industrial looking complex that was actually the American ground base for S.H.I.E.L.D their little plane swooped in gracefully and landed on a large helipad. 

“Better than your last landing.” Natasha said lowly at the pilot. When he stood up Pepper got her first look. He was blond with a stern face that broke in a small teasing smile. 

“I’ve got both engines this time Nat.” His words twisted something inside of her. Reminded her that even when Natasha said she was going away on business trips her business trips were nothing like Pepper’s business trips. That Natasha seemed to have dived head first into all this insanity and Pepper was going to be a nervous wreck if she didn’t stop thinking about it. All the things she could stand to lose. 

Instead Pepper pulled together her last frayed nerves and walked down the hatch faintly soothed by the metallic click of her heels. 

“This way.” Natasha said from behind her. 

The place was almost painfully utilitarian, cement and glass and it was obvious that Tony had not consulted at all in the design or Pepper would have been able to pick him out in the sweep of a bank of windows or the arrangement of out-buildings. 

They breezed through a few check-points. Pepper’s heels clacking like gunfire and Happy following in her wake. Natasha would nod to the guards and flash something before moving on again. Clint brought up the rear, almost soundless as to not even be there. 

Hospitals all over had the same smell and feel. Disinfectant and decay the smell of the sick and wounded. She heard Tony before she could see him which was about usual. It was only by force of will that she didn’t break out into a run. Happy didn’t have the same will slipping around her and jogging down the hall to where Tony’s voice was coming from. 

“Boss.” He said bursting into the room with a huge grin. 

“Happy!” Tony replied sounding delighted. 

Pepper pushed her way into the room and there was Tony sitting on a hospital bed with the same Black Sabbath t-shirt on that he was wearing when she left. It didn’t feel like almost yesterday, at least a week’s worth of stress and worry in between. 

“Tony.” She said, stern to hide the way her eyes watered throat closing tight. They had to stop meeting like this. 

“Pep.” Tony said softly. His face was bruised and scrapped much like Natasha’s but he was alive. She could just make out the glow of the arc reactor under his shirt. 

“You weren’t picking up your phone.” She choked. He still felt solid in her arms, shoulder and stupid head all in the right place when she leaned over the bed hugging him tight.

“Uh yeah. I don’t know where it went and JARVIS went out with the suit. Have you come to spring me from this place because it is dulls-ville and I’ve got a lot to do.” He pat her shoulder running one strong hand soothingly down her back. 

Pepper laughed letting him go and taking a unsteady step back. 

“I don’t think you should go yet.” Another voice added. Pepper had managed to miss the tall blond sitting in the corner with shoulders like a line-backer. He’d sort of shoved himself in the corner like he wasn’t sure he should be there or not. 

“Cap. Pepper. Pepper is the CEO of my company and this is Captain America.” 

Captain America was supposed to be dead but they had opened a portal to allow massive alien flying slugs from her home so she could roll with this being Captain America. He had been on the television as well but she hadn’t put too much thought into it, staring too hard for the glint of sun off of hot-rod red or the familiar flash of Natasha’s hair.

“A pleasure.” She said primly.

“And go where Tony? Is the tower even standing?” 

“More or less.” Tony said looking tired and Pepper touched his hair gently it was thick and greasy with sweat but she didn’t care carding her fighters through it lightly in case there were any head injuries. They didn’t normally have the kind of relationship that allowed casual touching but she needed the reassurance and Tony didn’t look like he was in the mood to mind. 

“Stay here. I’ll work something out. We need to stay close.” She said pulling away completely to fish for her PDA again. 

“The tower.” Tony frowned. 

“The tower.” Pepper confirmed. 

“I hate magic.” Tony said and Happy laughed. 

“I never thought I’d live to see the day.” Happy said slightly wonderingly. 

“Well you see it has to be technology, Clarke’s laws right?” Tony replied. “The way they all dropped when the connection to the mother-ship was cut there had to be some sort of central intelligence networking going on. Has to be cybernetic after all bees with a hive intelligence don’t just drop.” 

Natasha was still hovering around the door refusing to step inside so Pepper went over to her. “Hey.” 

“Hey.” Natasha replied low and sharp, she was staring at Tony oddly. “It’s going to be impossible to get a hotel tonight. I’ll see if I can get a spare room for you and Happy.” 

“Thank you Agent Romanoff.” 

With that she spun, graceful as a ballerina and vanished down the halls. From the other side of the room she could see Clint watching them all before he followed after Natasha. Pepper turned back to the hospital room and to Tony recounting some of the battle to Happy with a reckless smile that was a little too forced. 

She pasted on her own battle face and waded into the fray. Sometimes the clean up was just as hard as the battle. Tony looked brittle around the edges. If Happy always knew what she needed then she was what Tony needed. 

When it was getting dark a small curly haired man shuffled in looking sort of lost. He paused when he saw Pepper and Happy. “Dr. Banner!” Tony said. “The eminent researcher in gamma radiation. You know Cap over there, this is my CEO Pepper Potts and this is my driver Happy.”

“Uh,” Dr. Banner cleared his throat looking somewhere around her shoulder and offering a small smile. “It’s a pleasure Ms. Potts. Mr. Happy.” 

“Look at him Pep. We’re going to offer him a job. He’s brilliant which means a lot coming from me.” 

“Tony.” Dr. Banner and Pepper started at the same time. 

“There are a lot of people in New York.” Dr. Banner hedged. 

“We’ve talked about this.” Tony replied breezily. 

“Stark.” Captain America started. 

“No no no, hear me out. We are all more than the sum of our sins.” Tony argued, sitting up with a wince gesturing wildly with one arm wrapped snug in white bandages that he seemed intent on ignoring. “We all have bad days.” 

“Most people don’t tear down a sizable portion of the city on a bad day.” Dr. Banner pointed out.

Ah. Pepper had seen the huge green Hulk, had scanned the reports of the damage done in the attack years ago. It had only been a foot note then, ‘send a team with flash lights and a water purifier to the damaged area’. Small press release so they could point out the good they do the next time a new paper attacks them for dealing in death. They had been coming off a bad attack from insurgents and needed some good press. 

“And some murder their entire families with nothing but a rusty spoon.” Tony continued. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Dr. Banner added. A brush against her hand was all the warning she got before Natasha spoke. 

“I’ve secured rooms for both Potts and Hogan. Mr. Stark if you would like to stay here tonight?”

“Mr. Stark would not.” He added quickly. Natasha’s mouth twitched in a bit of a smile. 

“Then you also have quarters on base. Dr. Banner—your rooms are in the same corridor if you would?” 

“Really?” He looked shocked and Natasha just nodded. 

“If you would. Also Captain Rogers there is room for you. It would be easier than attempting to make your way back to your apartment.

Everyone else got their rooms first and Pepper smiled a little because she knew that Natasha wasn’t going to ask. “I’d rather not.” She paused in front of the doors to the guest quarters set aside for her use. Natasha’s eyes were blank. “Can I go with you?” 

“Yeah. Sure.” Natasha was never coy, she was never unsure and that was what Pepper liked about her. Something was wrong this Natasha looked rattled. That was okay. Pepper’s best skill was putting out fires and mopping up the mess that Tony tended to leave in his wake like a taciturn child. 

Natasha’s room was in the same hall, a guest room with a functional bed a closet-like shower (Pepper was more than a little spoilt by the shower in her new-old –probably destroyed-- apartment in Stark Tower). It screamed military and Black Widow fit in here in a way that Pepper wasn’t used to Natasha being able to. 

“Let’s get you washed up okay?” Pepper asked in a calm voice, Natasha was sitting on the bed taking off the boots and Pepper kicked off her shoes. The floor was cold and her stockings caught on the rough close-shaven carpet. Mindful of the bruises she could just see around Natasha’s hairline she pushed her fingers through the tangled mess of her red hair. It was a shade darker now must have changed while Natasha was on her ‘business trip’. 

As far as Pepper had known Natasha was away on business when Phil had interrupted her and Tony celebrating the new tower coming online on the roof clinking glasses together and looking at the lights of New York spread beneath them like a carpet. Instead of dealing with the flashes of panic that hadn’t stopped since fighting broke out over New York Pepper worked her fingers through Natasha’s hair. It was a mess of dried sweat, blood, dirt and what looked like flakes of scales and tiny bits of rock caught up in the curls. 

“Okay.” Natasha nodded taking a few steadying breaths. 

A knock on the door interrupted her walk to the shower (it wouldn’t fit both of them easily and Pepper was weighing the pros and cons of trying to fit her awkward elbows and knees in there with her girlfriend.) There wasn’t anywhere in the room to hide so she just pulled her feet onto the bed and pulled the time-honoured tactic of looking like she belonged there. 

“Nat?”

“Clint.” Natasha said back in a tone that Pepper had never heard her use before. 

“Oh.” He paused when he saw Pepper sitting on the bed, shoes off and hair down. His face did something complicated. She hadn’t seen him on the news but he looked like he’d taken a dive off a building then gone a round with a semi-truck. Then the expression smoothed out into professional blank, the worst kind of expression for hiding something. 

“Hello again.” Pepper said softly lest she spook him. 

He just blinked at her before he looked at Natasha. “Hey.” He said awkwardly. 

“Natasha was just about to shower did you want to stay?” She never once broke the gentle tone and he nodded slowly. Pepper hoped Natasha never looked at her like that again, pitifully grateful because that wasn’t the woman she’d fallen for. He sat heavily on the chair and Pepper pulled her knees up to her chest. 

“You’re the CEO of Stark Industries.” He said with a half-smile. 

“It’s still Tony’s company. I make sure it runs smoothly.”

“Natasha was undercover there.” Clint nodded knowingly. In the bathroom the water turned on and Pepper worked not to flush. Tony knew about her and Natasha about as much as he was aware of anything in her life meaning he would have flashes of knowing and just sort of stare at her until he shook it off. 

“She’s terrifyingly competent as a PA. I was sad she turned out to be a spy if only because it’s been hell finding anyone else who can measure up.” Pepper said with a smile. She actually meant that. 

Clint laughed. “There isn’t anyone else like her.” 

Natasha came out, naked like it was a statement and Pepper immediately flushed looking down at the dour bedspread while Clint seemed oddly at ease with it. 

“Communal showers.” Natasha said simply grabbing a towel out of the closet and wrapping it around herself if only for Pepper’s sanity. With her arms exposed like that it was easy to see the discolouration about her elbow and the bruising on her shoulders. She clenched her fingers to stop them shaking. Her knees were bruised too. The easier task probably would have been categorizing what _wasn’t_ battered. “Me and Clint have worked together for years.” Pepper narrowed her eyes, a statement like that from Natasha meant a lot more than it seemed at first blush. She filed it away in her terrifyingly slim mental file of ‘things she knew about Natasha’s past’ “I was going to wait before inflicting him on you.” 

Clint smirked at her. “Boo.” 

“I meant your sense of humour.” She deadpanned and Pepper laughed. 

“I’m not in my best form tonight, you’ll have to forgive me.” He nodded his head in a little half-bow while Natasha changed into sweats and a lose t-shirt she didn’t bother with a bra. “It’s been a really long day.” 

Natasha snorted. She sat down on the bed pressing her side against Pepper’s. If Natasha decided that this was okay Pepper was willing to accept that. It was obvious that Clint was someone important to Natasha. 

“I for one am glad it’s over.” Pepper said and both of them shook their heads. 

“It’s not over.” Clint said looking suddenly exhausted. If Natasha noticed the way she flinched then she didn’t say anything. 

“It can wait until tomorrow.” Pepper said using the same tone of voice she did on Tony when he hadn’t slept in three days and was talking backwards. Clint looked like he hadn’t slept in longer like something was eating him from inside. 

“Can you check on Banner for me?” Natasha murmured. “He’s going to think you’re monitoring him but I think if it is you he might feel better.” 

“You think?” Clint looked scraped raw, hollowed out the same way Tony did for days after Afghanistan. Pepper pressed her lips together. It probably wasn’t in her clearance to hear the whole story and Natasha would never tell her everything anyways. 

“Yeah.” Natasha said sounding slightly more like herself. Clint pushed up and off the chair. 

“Sleep well.” He said wryly and Natasha huffed a laugh. 

When he was gone Pepper stood up to strip off her skirt and blouse. She’d come straight from the car so all she had was her clothes and her PDA. She didn’t need much else but PJs would be nice. 

“There are more shirts in the closet.” Natasha said as Pepper unhooked her bra rooting around in the closet until she found a grey S.H.I.E.L.D. t-shirt and slipped it on. Natasha grinned at her, clearly amused by the logo the same way she had been when she’d woken up to find Pepper in nothing but her panties and a Stark-racing t-shirt. 

She hit the light. If she was exhausted then Natasha must be dead on her feet, super spy skills and everything. Natasha liked to take the side of the bed closest to the door or without her back to the wall and Pepper didn’t mind she didn’t have a preference either way. 

Natasha didn’t curl against her, didn’t make any move at all and Pepper sighed. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?” 

For a long time she didn’t think Natasha was going to answer. It wasn’t the usual playful silence nothing said ‘make me’ and so Pepper took the initiative pushed into the warmth of Natasha’s personal space and shamelessly basking in her presence. 

“On the roof.” Natasha began her voice cold and mechanical, faintly angry in the way it was really only when she was threatened. Glass falling all around them, Natasha (Natalie then) springing into action like some sort of Amazon queen. Wonder woman without all the kitsch. “When Tony flew into that portal.” 

Pepper’s heart thumped painfully as if psychological anguish could actually give her heart failure; that place Tony carved out for himself festering. Natasha continued slowly. “I had the power to close it, but I knew that if I let Tony die there you would never forgive me.” 

Oh she couldn’t even argue with that. She would have liked to pretend that she was a better person, that she would understand. She would say that she did but they both knew it would break Pepper completely. Tony was the only family she had. 

“Nat.” Pepper murmured unsure of what else to say but Natasha continued.

“It was Tony or New York, the fallout would have destroyed the island.” Pepper pressed her forehead against Natasha’s shoulder letting out a shaky breath. She was clinging but she couldn’t pull together enough composure to let go. “I hesitated.” Natasha breathed sounding brittle. “It’s my job and I hesitated.” 

“Oh _Nat_.” Pepper breathed she was terrified all over again. Back in the same place as when she’d been clutching at the arm rest of the private jet so hard that her fingers ached when she let go, cramped up too tight. “Come here.” 

They clung together, tighter than twins in a womb Natasha filling every negative space around her. She still smelled like burnt ozone and gunpowder and Pepper could hardly breathe because her lungs felt like they were made of lead, she was so scared. Everything was changing again just when she had gotten used to the way it was before.

She said the only thing she could. “I love you too.” 

Natasha pushed against her rolling them in the tiny twin bed so Pepper was pinned under her still breathing too fast but feeling all the more secure for Natasha’s weight over her. 

A declaration like that required a few moments to process. Definitions needed to be updated, Pepper should have seen this coming but was still a little blind-sided. 

Eventually Natasha spoke, “I don’t want you working with Dr. Banner.” She said staring down at her with her weight centred like that there was next to nothing Pepper to could do to move her. “Tony is convinced he’s the Jolly Green Giant but I don’t want you near him.” 

“He didn’t seem so bad.” Pepper said quietly. 

“It’s not him I’m worried about-- it’s his split personality. You’re not trained to deal with this Pepper.” 

Pepper went limp under Natasha there wasn’t any point in fighting her, just pushing her hands under the back of her shirt to rub soothingly at her lower back. Natasha pushed her face into under Pepper’s chin, and she really was like this black cat that Pepper used to have when she was in the nicer of the foster homes. They had moved and the cat got lost and (she’d been Virginia still then) had found a quiet private spot to cry about it. She learned easy never to let them see you cry. 

Pepper considered her words carefully all the things she could say discarding them one after the next. “Can you be trained for this? Aliens? Giant green monsters.” Natasha huffed but Pepper continued. “But that’s my life now and I need to deal with it or I will go _insane_.” Natasha kissed her, deep and languid but without intent, Natasha was obviously not in any shape for anything more and Pepper just wanted to wrap around her and begin to deal with the fact that they were both still here and her girlfriend was apparently a superhero. 

“I’m going to ask Fury for a transfer.” Natasha said long after they had both trailed off exhaustedly drifting in that hazy place where she was so tired it hurt but couldn’t quite sleep yet. “I want in on the Avengers, I can do more.” 

Pepper _really_ wished she wouldn’t, but Natasha never did anything unless it meant something. “Less business trips?” Pepper murmured voice thick and slurred with sleep. 

“We’ll see.”


End file.
